So where does that leave me. This anti-marriage agenda article by a progressive lesbian was published a couple days after Obama's statement, and even though I completely agree with the substance of her arguments, the piece felt a little petty and holier-than-thou. This video (Making Newark Better) warmed my heart, and shows rather than tells the good (non-marriage related) work that committed glbtq activists can do-work that helps some of the most vulnerable community members.
Finally, I was watching Melissa Harris Perry's show. Perry always seems to come up with interesting analysis that goes beyond what you usually get on TV. (I probably like her because she's a social scientist not a policy wonk.) She used the analogy of slavery (and, of course, was NOT trying to say that being queer in the 2010s is like being a slave) to argue that gay marriage and a broad and inclusive gay freedom struggle are not in opposition. Perry argued that slaves sought marriage and recognition for their relationships even as they sought the ultimate goal of freedom. Wanting to be married did not mean that the did not want to be free. To mix some historical metaphors: we need bread, but it's not wrong to want roses too.