Monday, September 29, 2014

That Time I Unfollowed My Wife on Facebook

Like Jr. High-aged couples everywhere, social media has been a point of contention between me and B since she told me she no longer wants to be married.  The low point came when I was on vacation with B and child.  B's soulmate commented on a thread in which B had checked in with me at a bar and posted a picture of me (although in B's defense, I think the beer was supposed to be the main point-not me).

I reflected on the time I punched a girl in the face on a street in Boston because she slept with my boyfriend (in the Biblical sense).  And then I didn't know what to do, so I punched her again and called her various names (don't worry I also made sure he got his).  Now, some number of decades later, I did not take a redeye back to Providence to punch someone in the face.  I did not curse someone out on virtual Main Street.  I didn't even make any acerbic comments.  I just backed away and felt embarrassed and angry.  I assured myself that the Other Woman was likely not a scary stalker who would break into our house and cut up all our sheets while we were away, but just another insecure and jealous soul like the rest of us-albeit one with less self-control. And I drew this diagram and gave it to B to give to her.

I am bitter.  I'll own that, but I'll keep it here in my space.  My street fighting days are over.

Friday, September 26, 2014

"I tried my best just to be a man"

This is the official jam of my separation from B.  I love this song and you should definitely check it out, even if your man or lady isn't stepping out on you:

Slimkid3 & DJ Nu-Mark "I Know, Didn't I" featuring Darondo

The universe keeps chattering at me.  I feel like I notice background music more than other people.  Walking through Target aisles listening to "City of New Orleans" or waiting at line at the bank listening to "Blurred Lines," songs seem to hold an overwhelming meaning.  Now it's "Don't Think Twice" playing at the grocery store, or "Say My Name" blaring on the speakers outside the gas station.  LB, B, and I were in Savers last week ostensibly looking for a dresser for our 2nd rental (June will be nesting in the cozy house while B and I swap out time at the other place), and what should come over the PA system as we tried to wrest a hideous unicorn costume away from LB?  Amy Winehouse's "You Know I'm No Good,"which made me think: "Who the hell picked this out? And will you please stop rattling around in my brain>"

Monday, September 22, 2014

A post-modern woman's daybook

What I don't want to be doing right now: ghostwriting a letter of recommendation from a famous public intellectual

What I've listened to five times today: the exceptional September 19th edition of On the Media

Number hours I've spent wondering if Earth, Wind, and Fire's "September" could be reworked to include the lyrics "in November we remember": 1 hour

Number of times I've said, "Please act like you have respect for me.": 2

Hours I spent doing data entry: not quite sure, enough that it sucked

Best songs on my running mix: Billy Bragg, "All you fascists born to lose," and The Coup, "Ride the Fence"

What I'm watching right now: 19 Kids and Counting (Jill and her man are choosing wedding cakes)

What I want to be reading: The Short and Tragic Life of Robert Place

What I am reading: I can't seem to settle on anything

Best place I went in Providence this weekend: Faust-pleasantly hip with German food