Saturday, October 15, 2016
Two weeks ago I realized I was running LB ragged on the weekends. One Saturday we had swim lesson, playdate, playdate at an African-American drumming festival, and a birthday party. In practice that involved a lot of "PUT YOUR SHOES ON NOW WE ARE GOING TO MISS OUR BUS WHY AREN'T YOUR SHOES ON!" And that's no way to live. So this week we kept it simple, went out to a live music event in the neighborhood last night, the pool heater is out of commission so no swim lesson, and one playdate. And now we've spent 5 hours hanging out in the house cleaning (me), watching shows (her), playing parcheesi and filling our bird feeder and then retrieving it when it fell off the building and coloring (both). Honestly, I feel a little restless but I think it's been a good chill out day.
I'm not married anymore and I live in a different place, but the biggest change in my life is that I've gone from a person with no real local friends who very rarely did stuff, to a person who often has plans 5 nights a week. Sometimes it's a little too much, but overall I feel energized. I like being around people. I'm nosy enough that I live being part of communities and getting all the news. And LB is shaping up to be a similar shy extrovert. Her absolute favorite thing is to play with friends.
Although I haven't captured all the moments on camera, we've established some rituals. We took the bus to Maine twice this summer. We went camping with friends in September, and last Monday we watched and marched in PRONK here in Providence. We didn't take the ferry to Newport or get to the beach at all. Next year, I need to be brave and try out one of the beach buses-it just seems like such a haul, and who wants to be stuck waiting for the bus when you are ready to leave the beach?
I think I"ve convinced LB to go with me to get PVD Donuts and then do some bird watching tomorrow-sounds delicious!
They need to have this splash pad open more hours. Twice we showed up just as they shut off the water, and once we actually made it to splash.
Sunday, October 9, 2016
Graphic from Feminist Fight Club.
Should have known that Trump would bring me back to this blog after many long months. Today I slept in until noon. And woke up terrified, because I haven't done that in how many years? Ten? Today is rainy, I had only minimal plans for an amazing 24hrs+ and I'm scaling back even those.
As I've been blogging less, I've been living more. And it turns out that when you show up, people ask you to show up more. Now, my issue is finding balance. I realized at the end of last weekend that I'd been running LB relentlessly-surely we can manage swim lessons, followed by a playdate, followed by a playdate at a drumming performance, followed by a birthday party. And we got it all done, but with a lot of stern "put your shoes on NOW, we are going to miss the bus!" And for myself, I'm trying to figure out when I need quiet time vs. when I need activity. And, when I can drag LB around to another meeting and when I should just say no. Right now I'm missing an activist art build that probably would have been a lot of fun to lie in my bed and drink another coffee and write to blogland.
In LB land: five is awesome, so chatty, so stubborn, so capable, so not throwing a tantrum because someone else pulled the cord on the bus. She can swim! She can play well with friends. At home she plays weird pretend games and makes houses for her animals out of magnatiles, and we play parcheesi and neither of us know the rules. She started K at a nearby dual language charter school. Sometimes I wait with her for the local bus and think "we could be home by now." But, the teachers and support staff are absolutely lovely, she's making friends and seems to like it there, and I have no big complaints-and I am a complainer by nature.
I've been reading to my dystopian stuff, real and imagined. In non-fiction, I read Tim Tyson's Blood Done Sign My Name, which is a great read for race-liberal white folks. The fiction that is sticking in my head is The Mandibles (liked it, but at times it felt a little Ayn Rand), and Octavia Butler's The Parable of the Sower-I am traumatized and in love. Read this book! I actually paid cash money to order the next book and another trilogy she wrote.
Projects: I was supposed to be taking Spanish classes, but then I got a BOOK CONTRACT with a reputable university press. I am the worst ex-ac ever.
Work: out-of-control at the moment, but should calm down in a few weeks. I'm trying to keep my anxiety in control.
Politics: I've been doing some work with a local anti-racist group. I like them and it feels good to do. National politics: dear God. Glad to know that the protection of white pussy is still a motivating value in American politics? A million sighs...