Wednesday, October 22, 2014

"The cold never bothered me anyway": a post brought to you by Wonderful Wednesday



LB has declared herself for Team Frozen and she also has decided that she only wears sundresses despite it being October in New England.  I can't say I've been very gracious about the situation, but I'll admit she's cute.


I bought these Dr. Marten's chelsea boots and I think I'm in love.  These are by far the butchest item of clothing I own, and since I was wearing a pink coat and red shoes and coming dangerously close to twee, that's probably a good thing.  Also I walked three miles while wearing these and suffered only a vaguely worrisome numbness in one foot, no bleeding blisters like back in the day.

Today was blustery, but LB and I got to school and back home okay with only some light rain and strong wind.  Now it's raining like crazy with thunder and lightening and it's very cozy to be in here and not out there.

Sometimes I feel happy, sometimes I feel sad.  This past weekend was great.  I had a friend in town and Providence appointed herself very well.  The weather was lovely, the city was charming, the food was good, and the conversation was excellent.  One of the best things about my current situation, has been checking back into friendships, rediscovering what kind and interesting people I know and how much I enjoy their company.

Thanks for the prompt Amanda




Lesbians behaving badly and a mom in need

If you've got a few dollars, here's the link to the Go Fund Me page of Ashley non-gestational mother to Kalen.  They live in Georgia, and despite planning for Kalen's conception and birth and then parenting him from birth, Ashley has no recognized legal relationship to Kalen.  Ashley's partner is threatening to deny her all access to Kalen.  Ashley needs serious legal help and that costs money (she was in touch with a prominent gay legal rights org, but they felt the specific county she lives in made it too risky a case).

Kalen's Go Fund Me page

And this case is exactly why we need some simple was to show presumption of parenthood for female couples who plan and raise a child together.  In my current situation, I understand why people get vindictive when relationships go bad.  B is a good parent and I have no desire to be a single parent, but I certainly don't want to the woman B is having an affair with prance into my daughter's life to be her new mom (I'll leave the rest of my musing on that subject to some pw protected safety).  The thought of that makes me angry, it may even make me a little crazy.  But even if I wanted to go full vindictive, I can't.  B is LB's parent, with no clauses or addendum.  And that is a good thing, because however B and I end up, B is LB's parent.  I can't imagine how devastating it would be for LB to lose a parent, but beyond that the relationship between B and LB is a true thing and shouldn't be denied by a law that can't acknowledge our families.


Thursday, October 16, 2014

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Fun with Children

Just to keep it real, LB is intermittently shrieking as I write this post.

It was a good LB weekend.  It didn't start that well when B rolled in at 11:30am from where evs'* after planning that we would have family breakfast and get an early start for the pumpkin patch.  But we saw it through and did our duty to our child, and ate some New York System hot wieners for our troubles.

We went to PRONK, which was great!  I think last year, LB wouldn't have been into it-too loud and weird.  But this year she didn't want to leave and we even got to march for a bit.  Next year we'll follow the parade downtown and watch some of the performances.


LB has been playing a game I call in my head "Ebola Clinic." It involves patients with tummy aches who are moved by cart to a hospital made from a converted shed and then locked inside.  When Fisher Price comes out with their own Ebola Clinic, don't say I didn't warn you.


And of course there was the obligatory pumpkin patch.  Amazingly we have pumpkin patch pictures for every year beginning when LB was in utero.  This year's trip was a good one.  LB ran around like a real child.  She scavenged animal feed off the ground, and had strangers sharing with her, and then tried to convince the strangers to feed the llamas.  We bought her an ice cream cone filled with animal feed and she actually fed it to a goat, and it was amazing.


LB still has her shrieking, screaming, annoying times, but we've been getting along so well.  Maybe I can only handle one source of angst in my life at a time, and right now it's not LB.  It's also easier now that she can talk more and tell me what's wrong (even if it's totally irrational).  Good times.

*In this phase of our separation she is free to spend her nights as she pleases....not going to rant....about anything...

Monday, September 29, 2014

That Time I Unfollowed My Wife on Facebook


Like Jr. High-aged couples everywhere, social media has been a point of contention between me and B since she told me she no longer wants to be married.  The low point came when I was on vacation with B and child.  B's soulmate commented on a thread in which B had checked in with me at a bar and posted a picture of me (although in B's defense, I think the beer was supposed to be the main point-not me).

I reflected on the time I punched a girl in the face on a street in Boston because she slept with my boyfriend (in the Biblical sense).  And then I didn't know what to do, so I punched her again and called her various names (don't worry I also made sure he got his).  Now, some number of decades later, I did not take a redeye back to Providence to punch someone in the face.  I did not curse someone out on virtual Main Street.  I didn't even make any acerbic comments.  I just backed away and felt embarrassed and angry.  I assured myself that the Other Woman was likely not a scary stalker who would break into our house and cut up all our sheets while we were away, but just another insecure and jealous soul like the rest of us-albeit one with less self-control. And I drew this diagram and gave it to B to give to her.

I am bitter.  I'll own that, but I'll keep it here in my space.  My street fighting days are over.

Friday, September 26, 2014

"I tried my best just to be a man"

This is the official jam of my separation from B.  I love this song and you should definitely check it out, even if your man or lady isn't stepping out on you:


Slimkid3 & DJ Nu-Mark "I Know, Didn't I" featuring Darondo




The universe keeps chattering at me.  I feel like I notice background music more than other people.  Walking through Target aisles listening to "City of New Orleans" or waiting at line at the bank listening to "Blurred Lines," songs seem to hold an overwhelming meaning.  Now it's "Don't Think Twice" playing at the grocery store, or "Say My Name" blaring on the speakers outside the gas station.  LB, B, and I were in Savers last week ostensibly looking for a dresser for our 2nd rental (June will be nesting in the cozy house while B and I swap out time at the other place), and what should come over the PA system as we tried to wrest a hideous unicorn costume away from LB?  Amy Winehouse's "You Know I'm No Good,"which made me think: "Who the hell picked this out? And will you please stop rattling around in my brain>"