Yesterday was LB's birthday, and I spent a lot of it crying. Because I didn't wake up with my daughter. Because 5 is so old. Because my only child is 5. Because all of the celebrations I spend with my daughter include the person who treated me so terribly.
The good: LB had a fun party with a tiny bouncy house, and the theme was chaos, and there was a hello kitty ice cream cake, and fun was had. LB was good at being a five year old and blew out all her candles.
I feel raw. Sad. So thankful to have a living child. Everyday I'm thankful. So sad to have a child that I love fulltime, but can only hold half the time.