Birthday

Yesterday was LB's birthday, and I spent a lot of it crying.  Because I didn't wake up with my daughter.  Because 5 is so old.  Because my only child is 5.  Because all of the celebrations I spend with my daughter include the person who treated me so terribly.

The good: LB had a fun party with a tiny bouncy house, and the theme was chaos, and there was a hello kitty ice cream cake, and fun was had.  LB was good at being a five year old and blew out all her candles.

I feel raw. Sad.  So thankful to have a living child.  Everyday I'm thankful. So sad to have a child that I love fulltime, but can only hold half the time.